20090213

Bert’s famous "STRING THEORY", quite useful for Valentines day.

Back when Bert was on the loose (dating) and was more or less clueless on strategy…Bert very quickly made an observation.
After doing some serious scientific research, and accumulating massive quantities of data and statistics and endless time-consuming extensive interactive field research studies (dating, . . such a chore), Bert wrote a comprehensive computer program to massage all the accumulated statistics and data specifically to determine the interaction of activities, events, techniques,..  vs results and success…… and thereby reached a conclusion.
The result was Bert’s famous "STRING THEORY". 



Works like this….. If you see a beautiful sexy bird in your yard and you’d like to make friends with it… every time you approach it, it will fly away even if you have a special treat for the bird (Chocolate, cash, six pack, fancy car, etc?). No matter what you have to offer and no matter how you try you will never get close to it if you approach it. Conclusion – You can rarely go "TO" the bird, it will fly away.

Solution = "STRING THEORY". 



You have to draw the bird TO YOU as if you were pulling it toward you on a very very fragile string. Of course there is no "Real" string, but the bird must WANT to be close to you… you must gently tug on the fragile string so gentle that they are unaware you are pulling. …That means you MUST have something to offer that it desires (That’s the REAL string). Sometimes it may be food, safety, comfort, warmth, affection, kindness, humor, wit, charm, love, security, a six pack, or just good company. One must be careful though…. The bird is always wary and may break the string, it must slowly gain confidence in you.  If the bird thinks you are approaching IT instead of visa versa… it will often fly away. . Sometimes it takes patience, perseverance, and dedication. Oh yeah, you should be wary of previously-wounded birds, they are sometimes too easy to catch and usually only have their own interests in mind, not a true two-way relationship.
…….Birds seem to be VERY attracted to happy cheerful confident content people who are truly happy with themselves.. and don’t need anybody else to make them happy. 
Laughter seems to be similar to a mating call which is often responded to.
Thereafter, Bert never approached the bird of his dreams. Very soon the "String Theory" began to work with great success. One must be careful when "casting" the string so it won’t be intimidating... it must be from the heart.  It wasn’t long before Bert had many beautiful birds around his feeder. So many feathers, so little time.
      People would often want to accompany Bert to observe this strategy and to seek Bert’s advice on the care and handling of birds that flocked to the feeder. Soon there were many others, casting strings all over the place.


ANYway… Bert has been fortunate enough to have his very favorite beautiful bird at his feeder for a several decades now, no more strings needed. No strings attached.


We built our little nest together.


20090210

Are you getting older? Wait as long as you can.

Does this remind you of anyone?  It's a shame that the reality of day to day life interferes with living.  Days, weeks, and years pass so quickly and soon we realize that it's all getting away from us and can never be recovered.
Try not to cry when you listen. This is such a touching song that we can all relate to. The Old Folks, By Laurika Rauch. 

 Do it all now while you can. It never gets any easier. We should not waste a moment of our lives. Projects and Adventures that were so effortless at one time almost seem like (gasp) "work" later on. Somehow comfort becomes more important than it used to. But... it's still a great life.

20090208

Do animals have an opinion?

 Do animals have an opinion about God? They say that Chimpanzees, dolphins, crows, elephants, and many other intelligent animals think, reason, plan ahead and have self-awareness and emotions just like humans. 

 

Do animals believe there is a God or do they not question their own existence?

If not, why are they exempt?



(Please limit the length of your response to less than a page)

20090202

061011 - - "Bert's Urban Camouflage Inc."


Can YOU spot   Bert  sitting at the Bar in plain sight ??

Using the latest scientific breakthroughs, Bert has designed a complete line of High Tech Urban Camouflage outfits for clandestine operations. Using various fiber optics and laser adjusted enhancement scattering and refraction of time/space continuum light bending techniques, Berts Urban Camouflage (BUC) can blend in with almost any urban environment.


Does your wife insist that you follow her around with the grocery cart?? Now you can hide amongst the lettuce and produce departments and avoid this degrading behavior .


Berts Urban Camouflage can automatically adapt to a variety
of backgrounds.






Berts Urban Camouflage even works well outdoors. You can now walk the streets undetected.


Berts Urban Camouflage is popular amongst clandestine agencies, such as the CIA, CSA, and FBI



Caution:   Once removed,   Berts Urban Camouflage outfits may be very difficult to locate.   
Check with your local authorities to see if Berts Urban Camouflage may be used legally in public rest rooms, locker rooms, and Hotels.

Remember what Bert says - With Berts Urban Camouflage (Buc) you get the most bang for your Buc Buc Buc.