Ski jumping is for Chickens

Sochi Olympics spectators cheer as Bert sets a world ski jumping record.

As he leaves the jump, Bert takes advantage of his physical attributes to soar far beyond the second place jumper.

Other Olympic contestants cried fowl but Officials said they could find nothing in the rules that would keep Bert from claiming the First Place title (No artificial enhancements allowed).

Bert was quoted as saying "I could have gone much farther, but at the end of the landing area there was a KFC restaurant".

061011 - - "Bert's Urban Camouflage Inc."

Can YOU spot   Bert  sitting at the Bar in plain sight ??

Using the latest scientific breakthroughs, Bert has designed a complete line of High Tech Urban Camouflage outfits for clandestine operations. Using various fiber optics and laser adjusted enhancement scattering and refraction of time/space continuum light bending techniques, Berts Urban Camouflage (BUC) can blend in with almost any urban environment.


Does your wife insist that you follow her around with the grocery cart?? Now you can hide amongst the lettuce and produce departments and avoid this degrading behavior .


Berts Urban Camouflage can automatically adapt to a variety
of backgrounds.

Berts Urban Camouflage even works well outdoors. You can now walk the streets undetected.

Berts Urban Camouflage is popular amongst clandestine agencies, such as the CIA, CSA, and FBI

Caution:   Once removed,   Berts Urban Camouflage outfits may be very difficult to locate.   
Check with your local authorities to see if Berts Urban Camouflage may be used legally in public rest rooms, locker rooms, and Hotels.

Remember what Bert says - With Berts Urban Camouflage (Buc) you get the most bang for your Buc Buc Buc.

060615 Tuna = Chicken of the Sea with just 1 Flush

This morning before heading to the barnyard, I was in the Bathroom with my Pet rabbit. I was combing my hare when Tuna, the cat, was trying to crawl up the toilet tank and slipped and fell and hit the flusher handle about the same time he grabbed the lid which promptly started to close over him as he descended into the vortex.
You should have seen his eyes. Panic. All nine lives gone with just one flush.  But being a cat, he managed to extricate himself without even getting too wet… and then he strolled away as if nothing happened, as if he had done it all on purpose. Chickens aren’t known for their sense of humor, but..ha ha ha (ROFL ROFL) ha ha. That’s when Tuna looked back at me in disgust and walked away. Oooouuu, Mr Cool cat, ha ha ha. Bert

060426 "Whoa, that spin cycle is interesting".

"Bert loves bath time".


................................................................................................................................................................................
Someone? said "People are just about as happy as they've made up their minds to be".

060220 NASA apologizes to Bert for mistake.

Dramatic NASA Hubbell telescope pictures of Albireo (means "The Chicken's Head" in Arabic) show newborn stars emerging from "eggs" of cold gas and dust — not the barnyard variety — but rather, dense, compact pockets of interstellar gas called Evaporating Gaseous Globules (EGGs) protruding from the wall of a vast cloud of molecular hydrogen. Hubble found the "EGGs," appropriately enough, in the CHICKEN nebula (also called M16.5), a nearby star-forming region 7,000 light-years from Earth in the Coopers constellation. It was previously thought to be in the “Eagle” nebula until Bert brought it to their attention. Still unanswered though is the Chicken-Egg debate.